Congratulations on deciding to see a therapist to help you with your problem! That alone can be a huge step. It can take great courage to talk about deeply personal issues with a stranger, but that outside perspective (particularly with someone who has the training to help) can make a huge difference in your life.
Some therapists specialize in particular issues, while others have the training that allows them to successfully assist people across multiple areas. If you are not sure which therapist to try, here are some suggestions:
Do you have any friends or family who have had therapy? If so, who did they see? What did they like or dislike about that person? Did they find the sessions helpful and have they turned a corner as a result? Everyone is different, so you may not find the perfect person here, but this approach can provide a good start.
Talk to Them
Some therapists offer a free consultation, but that is unusual. However, they should be willing to talk to you for a few minutes on the phone. Ask them about their backgrounds, their success rate in helping people with your issue, whether they are licensed, and what their fee is.
If you decide to go with this person, set up an appointment. The first appointment you have with a therapist can be draining as he or she will be asking a lot of questions. Don’t be afraid to be candid about what is going on in your life as this will help the therapist decide the best course of action for your treatment.
Don’t Be Afraid to Make a Switch
You should know within 2-3 sessions whether you are clicking with someone. If you feel that connection is not there, don’t be afraid to try someone else. You wouldn’t keep taking your car to a mechanic that was not doing a good job, so why continue to see a therapist who you feel is not helping? Don’t worry, you won’t be hurting their feelings.
Most of try our best to always be polite (and, if you’re Canadian, prepared to be teased about it), but may not always provide that level of consideration to all aspects of our life. One place where we should definitely think about our manners is work. No matter what you do, having a pleasant, helpful, and professional attitude can be a major asset both to your career and your interactions with fellow workers.
Treat Others as You Wish to be Treated
You probably heard that one from your mom as a child; well, it still holds true for you as an adult. We all have bad days (and nights) and it can be tough not to bring that with you to the office. However, it is important to separate your personal and work lives as much as possible. When you are on company time, your attitude and behavior must reflect the organization’s values and mission statement.
Drop the Bullying Attitude
Some supervisors feel that they command more respect by being intimidating and rude. What they don’t realize is that while this approach might get results in the moment, it forever tarnishes their working relationships. The person(s) on the receiving end of the abuse will not respect their tormentor; they may even start coming up with ways to undermine them.
A Respectful Workplace is An Efficient Workplace
Treating your co-workers and supervisor with respect is not only decent behavior, but can also increase everyone’s efficiency. Knowing that the person you work with respects both you and your efforts can help instill a level of confidence; you know that will have a good collaboration based on mutual trust. Displaying basic courtesy as a regular act will also be noticed by clients who visit the office and have the right to expect such treatment themselves.
Whether you work at a firm that employs hundreds of workers or just a handful, it is important to be mindful of your fellow employee. Everyone has the right to expect respectful treatment on the job, no matter what it is that they do. Here are some things you should never say to one of your co-workers:
“You really should exercise more”
It is very bad form to discuss a person’s weight, even if you are sincerely worried about their health. People with a few extra pounds are not always the stereotypical lazy slob who eats poorly; there are several medical conditions that can cause a person to gain weight and there is little that can be done about it. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Chances are, you wouldn’t want people to say something like that to you.
“You’re not religious, are you?”
Whether a person practices a certain religion, or none at all, is their own choice. Religion can be a touchy subject that causes people to argue. This is not the sort of thing you want to possibly sour the relationship you have with your co-workers, so leave religion out of your water-cooler conversation.
“You’re not a Trump supporter, are you?”
Politics is an area that can even cause old friends to quarrel, let alone people who simply work together. With the considerable political divide in the country these days, this is another subject best left outside of the office.
“Don’t get mad! It was just a joke!”
We all have different senses of humor. Some of us like a nice, harmless joke, while others are amused by some of the raunchiest, filthiest material imaginable. At the office, you should take a neutral stance. There is nothing wrong with an occasional joke, but be mindful of saying something that someone could take the wrong way. No joke is worth lingering hurt feelings and the effect they can have on your ability to work together.
There is no such thing as a perfect job experience. Whether it is the tasks you do, the way you are asked to do them, or the clients you must deal with, there will always be one element that strains your patience or even ruins your day.
One of the most common problems in a workplace is co-worker incompatibility. Not everyone has the same working style, temperament, or dedication. Disagreement in one of those areas can be problematic; disagreement in multiple areas can lead to a blow out. At the very least, you will likely end up stressed and frustrated.
Try limiting your interaction with the person. Do not sit near them at company functions and do not talk to them outside of work-related conversation. Be polite, but otherwise resist engaging.
If this does not help, talk to the person in order to resolve the problem. Do not be confrontational: try to approach them in the way you would like to be approached in such a situation. If the issue is a part of their personality that is ingrained, then there is not much that can be done. However, if it is a habit that is causing the problem, that might be something that can change.
If none of these work, it is time to bring the matter up with your supervisor. Do so when in a calm place; blowing your stack will make you seem irrational, which means your boss might be more likely to side with the other person.
When speaking with your superior, mention only things that you can back up with solid evidence (e.g. a piece of work that is poorly done). Rumors and supposition carry little or no weight. Don’t be entirely negative; try to mention the positive things the person contributes. However, be firm about the fact that you think the situation is hindering your ability to get the job done. Good luck!
Workplace drug testing is controversial. Some feel that it is a violation of their personal freedom, while others consider it a necessary evil that helps to ensure the safety of the workplace and staff members.
The concept of safety can mean different things. If someone is driving a truck while impaired, there is the possibility that that they can cause an accident that results in injury or loss of life, as well as damage to the business’ reputation and the physical loss of the vehicle and cargo.
If you are an office worker, your attitude might be, “Hey, a joint during my break helps me calm down. Who am I harming?” True, an office setting is not likely one where an impaired person could cause a catastrophic accident, but substance use during work hours can reduce your ability to do the job. That means work that does not live up to standard and reflects badly upon you and the company. It is possible to also alienate clients and cause them to take their business elsewhere.
Drug use also affects judgment. A successful office finds everyone behaving in a professional fashion with each other. That means treating each other with respect at all times. An impaired person is more likely to stray from that and cause a situation or say something that violates this unspoken professional code.
In short, you should try to avoid substance abuse on the job at all times. The legalization of marijuana in Canada next year means that it will be easy to come by, but that does not mean that the regular rules of business no longer apply. Thus, if employers feel they are within their rights to ask workers to take drug tests, then I believe that is justified. Everyone needs to blow off steam, but at the right time and not on company time.